A god encounter (a short comic)

Climate Change 4 Realzies!

Ok so this is a personal accounting. I saw a sudden shift in climate! It was like a catastrophy I swear! One moment I'm baskin' in the sun, and next moment clouds come along and start raining! If this wasn't climate change then I don't know what is! Something should be done about this!

Oh I know. Lets make a new tax to pay, but lets think of it as a donation to the planet. Oh hang on were already gonna do that? Ok.. So where's the money going? You dunno? Me neither. I'm sure all the governments will get together, put their money in one big box and then throw it into that volcano on Hawaii where the Scientologist Aliens were genocided. Then We'll offer up a prayer to mother nature to save us and get rid of our sinful CO2.

Hang on. Wasn't the CO2 Levels higher in the last ice age? I thought we were gonna burn. I guess thats why we renamed it from global warming to climate change. Someone fucked up there I guess. Wow. the advertising was brilliant, I barely even noticed the shift in wording.

In other news I totally won the first cycle of Keirs Photo thingy. The theme was "A slice of heaven" the place where you go to have a bit of peace and be happy. So I chose my own head, or more specifically Drawing. So this is a physical Recreation of the inside of my head. Hectic images crashing together. The postit notes that are stuck to me are to help me blend with the background, or to show that I'm a part of it.

Breaking headline! From last night. Fun story, so I'll tell it. If for nothing more than to catalogue odd experiences.

So I'm hanging out with my favourite married couple Matt and Keir. Were hanging out for a lot of the evening. And its about 1am or so and I'm thinking about leaving, but these two nutters are like, "God I'm hungry, Lets go to Wendies." To the sadness of many we had to go to MCd's instead. Matt's not happy with them.

Were sitting at the drive through. Keir freaks out at all the sleeping birds in the tree's above us. 20 minutes later we get to the window and their like, "We only take cash." Were surprised by this "Wtf, You know we live in a cashless society now! Jeeze."

Those weren't Keirs exact words, but she voiced our reaction of "Why didn't you have a sign up or something!"

So we go get cash, come back, get our food and shoot off to find a place to eat it. Now consequencly we park at the same carpark that the Creepy drug/sex crazed gay guy was from a few posts ago.

Matt likes this idea as much as he likes McDonalds. But were eating, steaming up those windows, when Keir suddenly freezes "Omg, theres someone coming towards the car!"

We see this big Maori boy out there. Matt winds his window down and the exchange words.

APPARENTLY his car broke down and he needs jumper leads. He also mentions casually that one of the windows is smashed in. He gets really insistent about us having jumper leads. He's not a very good listener, and he has trouble understanding our most basic statements of "No unless someone magicaly snuck jumper leads into my boot, there's nothing there." We look anyway. And he doesnt understand that "YES. WE will go to gull and get you some leads if they let us."

So we drive past where he's parked his car. Its parked around in a particularly dark spot, with lots of bush in front and beside it. We get to gull.. And keep going. SCREW that. were not gonna be the next unwitting owners of a blunt object in the head. We go home. With our night ruined.

a few weeks later we read this post, and laughed.. Crazily.

Hey hold up. How can they tell us that the end is nigh because of global warming? They have trouble enough as it is predicting weather next week. Let alone twenty or thirty years from now.

"Silence is consent" He shouted.

So lately I have been getting angry at our little government again. The last recorded time I was this grr was the end of september 2007. When our nanny state was trying to pass its Electoral Finance Bill. Everyone was really up in arms about it. Still makes me grr about all the crap that went around with it.

Now its the smacking bill. 9 mill wasted so Key could just be like "Lolz, to long, did not listen."

I think I'm gonna have to agree with Richard Prosser of "Investigate" on this one.

"...We should split the cost 113 ways, and send every MP who voted for the Bradford Bill invoice for $79,646.01, because we didn't want it, and we said very clearly at the time."

When %88 of the people who voted said Nai to this bill, it creates a very clear message. it means its a very very clear "NAI" ha ha.

I think it wasn't a very good look Johnny gave us at the begining of this referendum. Stating that he wouldn't do anything about it no matter what the results were. This is a great way to deter less motivated voters from not bothering to post their little slip back. And then afterwards they can dismiss this entire ordeal by going "Oh only 50 or so percent of voters voted on this referendum thingy." although as mathematician Matthew rust says "it means 44% say yes to smacking 6% say no and 50% don't really care enough" Its true. Hes a mathematician.

So, keep this in mind as you read the news, We put the members of parliament where they are. We employed them to their position. And one thing an employee shouldn't do is backsas his boss, waste the bosses money, and be inert at a time when the Boss is shouting at him to get a wriggle on. WRIGGLE ON!

Feel free to shoot John an email. Or add him as a friend on Facebook then immediatly defriend him in unapproval (Oooh, shunned.) j.key@ministers.govt.nz

Silence is consent. So if you think this whole thing is ok you can stay quiet. =P

In other news I'm on my holidays now. Woot. My arm guitar is finished and handed in! Woots all around.

I am also taking part in what Keir jumped to call a new "social Experiment." I know she did it to make me more interested in doing it.. And yes it worked. I am. I have joined a models thingy on Bebo. Populated by girls. And most of these girls (With the exception of a few) only have the photographic capabilities of a person who spends all day taking pictures of topography. I'm the only guy. Adventures abound. I'll keep you posted.

Sad truths

I found this article particularly amusing. I found this via baywords.com but while I see where their coming from with privacy of people it seems as though someone finally found a way to stab People in the face over the internet. "your gonna be mean to me? I stab!" Sometimes you just have to face the repercussions of your actions. The net isnt always such a forgiving place.

Amusingly This comment that

"She pointed out that the blog had attracted little notice and would have languished in obscurity if Miss Cohen had not sued."

I think this can safely be said about 90% of all blogs. the Blogger could probably have told all his/her friends its opinion of some random model by word of mouth and still more people would have heard their opinion. Anyway. Its getting late. And this is a post about a post on a blog. How lame. Ill have some cool pics up tomorrow to make up for it. I promise.

Encounters of the worst kind

I have been planning this post for the past few days, I was going to fill it with some zany encounters with people with a punchy one liner or something. But all these stories got topped by something that happened less than ten minutes ago (Its 11:38 currently.)

I stayed late at school, finishing up an assignment for tomorrow. I vowed to stay there till its completed. After I post this Im gonna have to go and write the rationale, so technically I still haven't completed it. Sigh.

Anyway, I catch a late bus home and it drops me in Henderson. I'm walking along and I see a road cone, which (with my designers eye) would look awesome on top of Matt and Keirs car. I vaguely note a car parked by itself in a car park, with its lights on. So I pick up the cone and wander off with it. I'm walking down Matts street when the car that was before parked was now pulling beside me. I was expecting a red faced concerned community spirited do gooder. Turns out its someone about 20 or so. So I instinatly relax. No one our age cares about the community. "Know where to get any weed?" He says, reinforcing my observation. My thought at the time was, wow, I guess I do look sorta dodgey dressed all in black.

"Ah no man, Sorry. I don't do that sorta thing. Have fun though. I thought you were someone who was gonna tell me to put this motha flippin cone back." we lolled and he drove off. I thought that was that until the car pulled back up beside me.

"Hey do you wanna earn a 100 bucks? Its real easy." he asks again. "Ah yea, I guess." I say, Who DOESN'T want to earn 100 easy dollars? "What do I have to do?"

"All you have to do is lie there."

"Huh? Lie where?" I was invisioning standing on the road with my eyes closed as he took an easy kill at 80k an hour.

"Just lie there and close your eyes."

"What? Fuck that!" No way was he gonna catch me like that, I wasn't taking no beat down.

"Up to you mate."

"Yea what the fuck. Screw that."

As I walked away I realized what he was actually getting at. My face instantly crumpling into "WTF WTF WTF" mode. Suffice to say I kept my scalpel in my pocket for the rest of the walk home (But not before putting a road cone on Matts car.)

All gone!

Well, The holidays are over, my sister, hubby, and children are all back at their undisclosed country, and I'm straight outa coke. Ah well. Probably a good thing. I'm paranoid about getting diabetes at the moment. To keep my mind off it I went and got the latest Simple Plan CD. Since I have to keep myself occupied until mutemath and streetlight manifesto release their next set of epic songs. I have been thinking about Simple Plans latest stuff for a while but never got around to it till now. I heard they were better than their last set of stuff that, although I dissed mercilessly, was actually catchy enough to listen to over and over again. So yea, I heard they got away from their whineyness. They did I guess, but wow. I'm not entirely used to listening to something so blatantly mainstream poppy. I guess its pop for a reason.

Uni has started. I'm placing my bets on when people will start freaking out. I'm guessing week 4 will be when everyone snaps and realizes they have wasted the last couple weeks picking their noses saying there isn't anything to do.

I stayed till 6 tonight, just to listen to this old german guy tell me about evolution and point out why guys suck. Although it seems to be working for him. He has a real charm with the ladies. All these oldish woman giggling like schoolgirls around him, it really was quite a sight to see 0_0. So it was more a spectacle than an actual lesson. Ah well, I'm just thankful I didn't need to take public transport home. In lue of all this, rock out to this ONE simple plan song. Just in memory of my wasted hour. (And yes, I changed the code of this embed so it wouldn't automatically play, I'm no hypocrit. The people who know my opinion on webpages playing music at me will find this amusing.)

Izaks wittle job intiview

Well. Before I ellaborate upon the title of this I would just like to give a summary of me at this current moment. its almost 1Am. I'm trying to be as quiet as possible, tuning down for the night with relient K's "The lining is silver", "You'l always be my best friend", "In like a lion" and "The thief" All great songs. Check em out.

Anyway, today I had my job interview with EB. Fortunatly, Emma (my interviewer) lost her notes on what she was gonna ask, so I got to take the bull by the balls and get kicked in the face. After that I realized I got the saying wrong and decided to keep going with my anicdote.

I was pretty tense when I got in there. Laugh politely whenever I see her face crack into a smile, that sorta thing. She said as introduction "Oh wow, your right on time. There was meant to be another girl coming into today but she never showed up." "Oh that kinda sucks." I say sympathetically. The guy minding the counter laughs "Awww man, that sucks so bad that she didn't arrive." in an outrageous "woe be me" type fashion. I reply "Yea, man it REALLY does SUCK. I'm gonna have to take her job and stuff now.. Stink."

She asks if I smoke. I, realizing that this is the first test go "ew! No way, smoking is as bad as pedophilia, I would never do that in a mall." Turns out she smokes. And that last comment never happened. Anyway, were walking outside to pedophilize and we get onto the topic of which mall we would use during a zombie appocolypse. I respond that malls are a bad choice, since it only takes one old lady who thinks her dog is important to compromise the entire mall.

Anyway, we chatted about the importance of ninjas and pirates. Talked briefly about my weaknessess "Well, I can tend to be forgetful, but it means I can't hold grudges."

Talked about the big wednesday loto money. lolled at her comment "Man, What I could do with that much money... Buy a PS3."

Bought ice cream, frollicked, laughed together, spun around on swings.

"Im sorry I can't hire you." "AH F**ge!! Hey! F**ge isnt a swear word! Its like a safe alternative."

And the moral of this story is, Buy mirrors edge. Because it could possibly get you a job! (I dont find out for ages whether or not the interview went down well. It'l probably go down worse if she does a background check on me with google and stumbles over this blog. Ah well. My post came out as more a trip to fairy land than an actual accounting of events.