Sarkeesian Working on Mirror's Edge 2 + Blobby: Sudoku

I'd like to thank +Kristof Haines for helping with this one. I messed with the lines somewhat though. I always feel self conscious when mucking around with the work of people that I perceive of as "real writers". So here's the original script:
"What's your darkest secret?"

"I cheated on sudoku once. I've never told anyone that..."

If you're here for the comic you can feel free to stop reading now. Here, I'll even leave you some obligatory chillwave so you feel like you've reached the end of a regular post. I really recommend it, it'd make a great piece beside some Postal Service.

Anita Sarkeesian Wants to Fuck your Shit

is probably the title most clickbait sites would use if they ever get wind of this non-story. Here, let me explain. So there's a petition that's sprung up out of nowhere claiming that DICE has had Sarkeesian pushed onto them by EA to do whatever she says on the new Mirror's Edge game. You see I'm a hardcore fan & I have Google alerts for whenever someone mentions ME2.

Here's the petition here. Don't sign it just yet!

Note that the petition provides no links or references. However they do mention that "she went so far as to say that women needed a whole new "simplified" control set for this game, based on her personal experiences, passing them off as the opinion of the female gaming community."

The reporter who originally posted about it was horrified by the statements made by Sarkeesian, and so was I. But they seem conveniently inflammatory don't they?

As an aside, I don't want any games journalists getting near any game. Imagine if that dick from IGN went and slashed Alien: Isolation in half for the lols.

Ok, so going from the quoted text and shitty photoshop image at the top of the post from actiontrip.com we can trace these peoples thoughts back to this Destructoid article from 2012. Let us note again that the only reference or citation is at the very end noting that the writer has been "reliably informed that there are Tweets relating to this on the Femenist frequency Twitter account" which he apparently couldn't be bothered following up or linking to. Show me a smoking gun bro then your 1000 word wordcount won't go to waste.

Ok, since he did zero legwork, we will, skip to 6:15 and watch for about a minute.

Here's the archived post and screenshot that's been circulating (which was used in the above video.)



Edit: On the way home on the bus today I realised that these rumours cropped up long before ME2 was even officially announced back in June 2013. So for EA to have announced prior to that time that she was "officially working on the game" would be ludicrous to assume.

In Conclusion, No She Doesn't

So the old Destructoid post was acting upon information that was given birth to on 4Chan.
Being "reliably informed" is something you can become if you go to /b/. Unfortunately finding out that you have a kink for big hairy feet is about all you're going to be informed of.
So she did do a talk, but nowhere has it been stated that she works there.
Let's have a look at what you would look like if you hadn't done some research:

The really sad thing is that all these fans that are going on about this are damaging future sales. Alpha Omega Sin's memory is long and he'll be voting with his wallet in 2015/2016. EA will feel the full wrath of his money going into Battlefield 5, SO THERE. Take that! How does that make you feel EA? Do you feel the burn?
I love the Mirror's Edge community and it's just stink to see them taken for a ride like this.
If it's any consolation, the petition people already have their wish.

Also if you somehow find a credit somewhere or a DICE employee actually saying that she's working on the game and not just doing a presentation I'm fully willing to eat my words. Alpha Omega will help me I'm sure.

I'd like to thank +Matthew Rust for doing the legwork for me on this one. I had one of those days where I had to "work" or whatever.

Edit 19/12/14: EA responded concluding that "This petition is based on inaccurate information. EA is not working with Anita Sarkeesian on development of Mirror’s Edge."

Doom 3 Passwords

Anyone whose played Alien Isolation, or Doom 3, or just about any other game that randomly chucks passwords all over the place will finally understand that they aren't just being retards.
I'm not gonna lie. I have passwords written down on post its in my desk. No one's ever "hacked" them yet, as the media would say. Sorry, I guess I should say "as the courts would say" in this particular instance. The man and the media have it tough sometimes.
Guessing a password isn't hacking. Much like chucking wood chippings into your garden doesn't make you a lumberjack.

Blobby: A Little Longer

25% of the way through the series. I have yet to discover the overarching story that will blend it's way through these one off encounters yet. I'm sure production will slow down once I run out of prewritten strips.

Blobby: Worth My Time

The bottom of this strip was kindly painted in by Becky. originally the layer was chucked out cause it wasn't working, but after I coloured in the rest of the city I accidentally turned the layer back on and it worked really well with everything else.
Work has decided that doing iPad magazines are a total waste of our time. Which is true, the walled garden of the Apple store is really a ghost town in the magazine department, no one wants them. We could sell 50 issues and be in the top 10 earning apps some days. And if you aren't shmoozing up to Apple to be on the frontpage then you aren't going to get any traction at all.
My final project for uni in 2012 was about this entire subject, it's nice to be proven right 2 years later. I'll try and find the text for it and post it up here maybe.

Blobby: Same League

Crud, capital S in Sorry. Oh well. I'll have to go back and fix that. So the dude on the left is Headtree, a character I made up back at uni during a boring lecture. I wrote his entire little story during the lecture as well. I thought I was so cool. He's popped up occasionally in the blobby world to freak people out, but he's harmless really.

So mum just told me a terrifying story just now. Every two weeks her and Dad go to Waiheke to fix up grandmas old place on Waiheke. The house is fairly isolated and backs on to native bush and vines. Randomly one night at about 10 a woman walks into the house. Mum stares at her. Dad stares at her. She stares at everyone else. Mums standing in the doorway to the lounge and says to the lady "Are you ok?" "I will be" the lady responds "when I get past you."

The lady pushes past and goes through the lounge, round through the toilet for a while, then into the only bedroom and then back into the dining room.
Lets describe the lady a bit. Mid 40s. Nice businessy short hair, classy top. No shoes. No pants. Underwear where it should be. "Shapely legs"

They manage to shoo her out the door somehow and mum locks Dad outside with Pantless. Because apparently mum follows the pirate code or something. Dad was quietly trying to get back in but she was busy calling the neighbours to tell them to lock everything up.

Eventually the philanthropist parents of mine decide you can't chuck someone outside with no pants on when they clearly have no idea where they are.

So they usher the lady back inside and give her a blanket. She huddles next to the fire. She doesn't smell of alcohol, but how often do drugs ever smell like a silly thing like that?
Mum 'n Dad try and pry information out of her bit by bit. The lady said she had a son "whose been 21 for a couple years now."

Mum was a little nervous and laughed way to much at everything. The lady shot her a look at one point thinking mum was laughing at her and said "It could be worse. I could be totally naked." which made mum laugh more.

 Pantless mentions that she lived at "Number 20." Which narrows it down to every single road. also someone had dropped her off here & that she had a bright red letterbox.
Apparently Mum 'n Dad (MnD for short) have great letterbox memories and recalled that there was one up the road.

So they set off with torches in hand tailed by Pantless. They find the letterbox almost right next door. The two driveways look the same at night. Little narrow things on a moderate curve round the hill that cut down the bank & bush.

The next day Mum goes back to the house and the door is ajar, key in lock. No answer.
She went back the day after and Pantless came to the door, she didn't look as good as she had that first night, hair a mess, dressing gown and pajamas on. Still sort of out of it.
"I've just come to pick something up." mum managed to say.
"Ah yes, the chickens." Pantless came out with.
"Uh, actually no, a fluffy pink blanket."
"Right. I'll go get it." The lady stomped off before returning with the blanket, giving it to mum.
Then nothing. Pantless provides no explanation, NOTHING. No "I'm sorry I'm addicted to some crazy shit." Nadda!

Anyway, the only reason mum brought that story up was because our car got rifled through last night. Looks like we left the door on it unlocked. They didn't nick anything due to the fact the car is completely bare to begin with.
Remember kids, nowhere is safe. Live in fear always. Peace.

Blobby: Bear in the Woods

Bears sometimes need to be told where to go toilet. We could explain to them that it's due to a phrase that we use to explain how true and predictable something is, but they'd probably get upset about that. Bears have an image of themselves in their mind that they're trying to live up to, & if they found out that we mostly discuss whether or not they shit in the woods they wouldn't be pleased.
Unrelated music:

Merry Christmas Face 2013

Christmas Girl: 2009 2010 2011 2012 2013
Much like an abortion, it's better late than never. I figured since I've done it for four years I may as well make sure I do my fifth one belatedly.
Merry christmas everyone! I can't wait to see what 2014 has in store for us. Here are my predictions.
Kim Dotcom will start an internet party and totally sweep the floor in NZ politics. He'll probably become prime minister.
Kim Jong Un will finally prove to the world that he can fly, and also forgive all his detractors because he is a just and forgiving god.
Kim Kardashian will co-star alongside her own butt.
America will draw a direct connection between guns and death due to guns.
Tim Cook will go against everyone's expectations that Apple will be releasing a dumb smart watch because he's intelligent enough to know they would totally suck dick.
Gravity will continue to play in theaters all year long because it was Sandra Bullocks birthday wish.
Mark Zuckerberg will make an ambiguous post on Facebook saying "Such a bad night, I don't want to talk about it..." before shutting down the entire social network due to no one taking the bait and commenting.